The day is fast approaching and some of us get very creative and playful. It is like getting an official permission to be romantic, sexy and expressive about our feelings. Some of us become a bit antsy and even frustrated in response to the pressure to show up in the most intimate, and, at the same time, vulnerable caring way.

What am I going to give her, so she understands my message?
What should I give him, so he feels I really care about him, but do not support his life style?
How can I impress her if I do not have much cash to spare?

Most of our relationship schooling happens by observing our parents’ life, work, and how they relate to each other and to us. As this process unfolds, we are taught how to respond to similar situations with certain behaviors that may be very caring and nurturing or unsupportive and demanding of ourselves and others.

Every parent wants his/her child to accomplish something great in life and be more prosperous and successful than he or she is. We are often viewed by our parents as a final opportunity to realize their dreams. Often, we internalize their views of us and identify with their dreams, aspirations or accomplishments. We may not agree with, value, or accept these dreams as our own yet we still feel responsible to fulfill their expectations.

As parents continue to express the urgency to realize their partially unfulfilled desires, our young growing minds and hearts internalize this pressure and eventually transform it into tendencies to act on it. We act much faster then we are ready in order to relieve the pressure of their expectation. We start making decisions based on someone else’s belief vs. waiting for our own clarity. In addition, we are culturally conditioned to compete and “to be better” that often feels out of balance, unnatural to our core understanding of who we are, and extremely exhausting.

Most of us are deeply identify with the “not-self” patterns of early childhood conditioning supported by later experiences in life that match the same story. We constantly looking for love, approval and appreciation that we did not receive when we were young. This lack of support and unconditional love creates a feeling of insecurity limiting our natural expressions of creativity and love.

Love is caring, trusting, feeling safe and accepting. What we call love often feels like worry, control, intimidation, threat or submission and looking for approval that can give us a sense of lost parental attention or love. When you can recognize your true vibration in each moment you express your love, you will be able to be present and express the high vibration of creative flow with your unique flavor instead of figuring out how to please others based on your past experiences. For example, trusting your inner timing can help you lift off the pressure to make a decision when you may not be ready and clearly communicate your state to the person you love. Recognizing an outside or an internal pressure and allowing yourself to shift your attention into what you already have instead of what is missing, will help you activate your inner resources for making the most optimal choices in the present.

Emotional Dependency: Feeling Good When Feeling Bad

When you are living the dreams, ambitions, and life models that belong to your parents, teachers, or partners, you live according to what you think is expected of you. It creates stress and imbalances in your body, mind, and spirit, affecting all general aspects of your life.

A state of emotional, mental or physical imbalance, experienced over a substantial period (even for a month or so) eventually becomes our second nature. As we internalize our tribal dos, shoulds and do nots, our body/mind system identifies with these demands and changes our priorities according to other people’s needs and desires instead of following our own inclinations. We create an illusion of comfort through helping others, while a deep inner resentment and eventually a bottomless un-satisfaction begins to build up disrupting the graceful flow in our relationships.

Even if we have the best childhood and the most loving, attentive parents, we still experience the moments of shame or guilt and emotional manipulation during our first, most important years of development. Every critical interaction, every moment we feel that we are not living up to our parents’ expectations makes us a bit less confident and promotes the habit of pleasing others in order to prove our self-worth and experience acceptance and love. As we go through schooling, marriage, and raising our own children, we emanate these lower vibrations of fear, concern, and self-doubt. We start to worry about kids, or complain about life to people whom we love because these behaviors were the modeled ways to express love and compassion in our families.

Do you feel supported and cared for by the closest people in your family or by your romantic partners?
Are you taking your true Valentine to dinner next Monday or are you stuck with somebody that makes you feel insecure and worried just as your father (mother) did?
Do you like yourself when you are with your partner or you feel just the way you felt with your father (mother) and could never figure out how to please him(her)?

Lacking true, unconditional love and genuine interest in our lives, we look for people that may fulfill our need for inner safety and acceptance. Mistaking this need for a true love, we create all kinds of co-dependent relationships that remind us of our family of origin or reflect our own state of neediness. Even though these relationships keep us unbalanced, unhealthy and unhappy, they provide us with a familiar environment that we have learned to navigate.

What happens when your dialogue escalates in just a few minutes?
What drives you into states that are not only unpleasant, but also have long-term implications?
What makes you scream and cry while talking to the people you love the most?

Whatever drives you into a conflict-based conversation is often behavior or belief that has been modeled by your parents, spouses, or society at large. Eventually, this type of interaction becomes a norm and this way of being grows to be your own pattern. Your body becomes dependent on the level of stimulation that the conflict energy gives you. Why the heat during your conversation rises and your good intentions die in a conflict you did not mean to create? When people generate situations where there is no way out or they find the way to pick fights regularly, they are looking for pressure that allows them to interact more. This exhilarating rush makes them want to continue arguing and finding new hooks to engage their partners into a process through which they are getting internally stimulated.

The conflict, though unpleasant, may satisfy your dependency on the familiar chemicals released within your body while you are feeling lost, unheard or guilty. If you or your partner are addicted to these feelings, the fight helps create much-needed stimulant that paradoxically helps you feel better when you are really feeling worse. Becoming aware of these tendencies is one of the major steps in self-recovery and change that will allow your inner pharmacy to produce sustaining chemicals like endorphins to support your

The more we allow ourselves to be a part of and co-create this type of environment, the more we become dependant on the energy produced by the conflict we create. This behavior forms a pattern, or habit to be charged by the energy of an argument. This need carries itself over to other areas of our lives. We subconsciously begin to seek activities and relationships that require additional pressure, struggle, and drama. We become reliant on the sensations created by this chemical over-production in our system, and our inner pharmacy starts working over-time to support our need for this emotional drug.

The Solar Plexus which is the emotional center in a body is one of the major driving forces behind these actions. This is the center of self-acceptance, self-honor, and self –worth. It is where we feel a deep emotional guidance regarding our relationships and situations that are difficult to resolve. It gives us positive ideas of how to live a life of connection and love. We often do not recognize the simple truth of the Solar Plexus; any feeling is just a feeling. It allows you to really know what is out there by measuring your environment with your emotional barometer.

How to Avoid Living Not-Self Life?

We, humans, are deeply social and are specifically oriented on living and interacting with other people. As we interact with others, we regularly hear and often identify their ambitions as our own, whether we resonate with them or not.

Do you ever blurt things out of pressure, instead of speaking your truth and clarity?
Do you always know when it is your time for action feels?
Do you say “yes” to things and people that you are not interested in spending time with?

We have been living in our three-dimensional world for thousands of years. We started as simple patterns of energy and information and then evolved into more complex beings with multifaceted systems of energy and information. We now connect with the planets and each other at the level we still do not fully recognize. Today we are able to relate to ourselves as energetic beings more and more, letting this new experience unfold in front of our eyes. We witness tsunamis of love and hurricanes of destruction at every level, both personal and transpersonal that we produce. We are able to recognize that our every thought, every belief, every attitude delivers our energetic signature to the bigger picture of life.

It is important to know who you are and embrace all parts of you so you can role model the way you want to interact to others from the clarity and certainty of your uniqueness while letting others deal with their goals, objectives and timing.
It is up to you to stop watching and listening to the old program installed in your early years by some of the struggling individuals in your life. If you stop judging and blaming, you can use your energy to accept and live with what is real for you in the moment, change the situation or relationship, or find what is ideal for you. Give yourself permission to be different and make a conscious choice to be at peace with that.

It takes courage and practice not to be ashamed, feel guilty or try to cover up whatever makes you unique. The more you notice yourself being unique and different, and acknowledge that these are your gifts, the more secure, stable, and strong you will grow. This is just a suggestion, a new thought that you may want to incorporate into your thinking of yourself. If you come back to this thought a number of times, it will become your second nature.
You are the “right” person for your life, having the “right” experiences that were meant for you. You are “spot on” in your life journey. Accept your way of being and relate to yourself and create your life from your knowing.

Creating Your Life from Your Knowing

Notice when in your Valentine’s Day you experience big happy smiles or pressures to perform, the need to be noticed, the drive to talk even if you do not know what to say. Allow these pressures to be what they are, just the pressures. Know that you always have a choice in how you respond to the pressure: to let it flow or to identify with it and try to fix it.

It often takes more courage to let the pressure pass through your body then taking responsibility to carry them, but the choice is always yours. When you acknowledge your true essential nature, you will start releasing your old conditioned ways of being (like adopting other people ambitions, dysfunctional relationships and struggling with un-satisfying projects) and be YOU, say what YOU want to say, and find your voice of creation.

My life work is about helping people find their voice and communicate from inner guidance, innovation and personal power. It is my dream to serve you with my love’s creative expression through Soul paintings, YouTube videos and alchemical energy session for expansion. No one can give you the power to create love. It is your birthright, an innate authority given to you already. You already have a strategy and a power of co-creation within your universe. Use your light and beauty to illuminate love and creative force in others, so you can enjoy being the Valentine every day.

My relationship movie channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/lanapritzker?feature=mhum

I know you are a great teacher. You are a guiding light. You are an amazing coach and an authority on your topic. Yet… Do you ever feel like you have no way of reaching your own daughter or your spouse? If you feel lost even though you think you are the compass, I want to share a few stories with you.

Here is a story of a young man who tries his best to be a good husband for his ex-wife, current wife and the kids from both marriages. He gives them all they want. Working long hours, he supports their ideas and needs, yet BOTH wives decide to leave him. The last conflict makes no sense to him. She is so obsessed with the idea that she decides to vacate his home in the middle of the winter with his little daughter that he treasures and loves.

Here is a story of a devoted wife who cooks, and cleans, and takes care of the house in addition to working full time as a doctor. She takes great care of the kids and makes sure her husband’s needs are met and exceeded only to find out that her efforts are not noticed, appreciated or even needed. He is an interesting conversational partner, a happy fellow, and an entertainer by nature. Unfortunately, the only time he is not enthusiastic or attentive is when he is around her.

And here is another story. She is the mom. Her daughter hated the idea of college, yet mom dragged her through 5 years of higher education. The daughter could never be consistent with her efforts, yet mom invested a huge amount of money into buying a business the daughter dreamt about. The daughter lost her interest in a process after a year or so and stepped out of the business and lost all that she had. Mom gave her all her time and support as the daughter experienced life through sharing her time, money and energy with addicts and drunks. Gradually, the daughter spiraled down, going through a few abusive co-dependent relationships resulting in huge personal and financial losses. Loving her unconditionally, mom continuously supports her adult daughter, who is still in denial and often chooses to hide the truth of her un-sustainable self-destructing tendencies.

These people are real. They show up in my practice with no survival strategy, no hope for progress, no way to restore their integrity, often wondering:

How could it happen?

Did I lose my perspective?

Am I irresponsible mother (spouse)?

Am I to take control and stop my financial support? Will that keep her isolated from all the “bad” influences in the world?

Am I to let her probe the density of world’s drama and be an observer of it?

Should I allow her (him) to be free and explore the life lessons as she (he) chooses?

Should I be a controlling force in her (his) life and how can I be that without creating even bigger conflict?

If you are asking these questions as well, you are not alone. There are many people today who are awaken by the waves of the upcoming Shift in consciousness, pondering these same questions. These people are in the process of deep re-structuring of their life and their relationships to reflect their need for intimacy, respect and trust.

The Shift, as I know it, is leading us into a deeper perceptive about personal responsibility, personal space, and freedom of choice that are integral part of the new level of current awakening. We are learning about our personal need for freedom of Being and discovering that it includes the process of letting others BE no matter where we want them to go.

Each relationship in our life is a litmus paper of our inner freedom. It is a mirror of our ability to live on purpose, allowing our Spirit to be fully present in every interaction we experience with our spouses, partners or children. We can be the brightest Lightworkers with the most enlightening messages for others while being limited by our 3D environments and interactions. Our physical reality will always limit our ability to hold 5D awareness and unlimited perspective of our divine nature unless we learn to live in both worlds at the same time

How do we stay limitless, free and open even in the moments of deepest discord in out personal lives?

How do we apply the brightness of our creative light to our darkest moments?

How can we stay loving and unconditionally inspired by the Essence of who we are while commanding our life from certainty and wisdom?

Our physical bodies are the vehicles of our consciousness. As we grow and develop, our bodies are being exposed to many experiences that help us learn how to navigate the physical world. As we move forward, we collect and store the information that allows us create some simple rules that are important to our survival. Most of these rules are learned through incidents of fear and moments of non-survival. Based on these early endurance lessons, we develop defense mechanisms that allow us to plot a course through or completely avoid fearful and painful experiences in the future.

This information creates our body treasure map. The body continuously communicates this acquired wisdom through emotional overwhelm, mental knowing and physical sensations. Every time you feel unsafe and insecure, the old memory inside is triggered to protect you. The body’s defense mechanism then reaches for pain stored within one of the events and sends the full blown sensation into your awareness. You feel awful and automatically stop what you are doing (like making the same mistake again). The side effect of such defense strategy is an uncomfortable or even painful sensation you experience every time your body tries to get your attention in attempt to address the current safety matter.

Being unconscious and unaware of the real purpose of such communication, you may respond with the fear that it may happen again and again. This fear becomes a pre-course to any inner communication that follows after the first painful event.

How can you hold your ground without losing your Essence?

How can you stay true to the high vibration of Unconditional Love at your core?

What helps you be aware of the old pain coming to the surface and how can you consciously disconnect from the future related fear (either yours or someone else’s) that you may be experiencing in the current moment.

Asking these questions helps you become more aware of your so-creative role. Seeing what is happening from this awareness level helps you experience any distress without being scared of it. It helps you recognize that fear can only rule you (or your opponent) in the moment if you are not aware of it. You need to see, acknowledge and address of the fear feeling before you continue your interaction. Understanding WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF is the first step in this process. Admitting and transparently sharing this truth with your partner is the key step in opening the doors of mutual acceptance and cooperation.

Sharing your own fear and uncertainty creates a level of honesty, transparency and intimate communication that is impossible when one of the communicating partners holds the status of superiority. There is a difference between being certain, clear, and powerful verse being forceful, superior and controlling. Certainty and clarity creates a sacred space of mutual respect and open communication while dominance and demand creates resistance and rejection.

You cannot be overpowered, trapped or limited. You are surrounded by big powerful spirits who may look like small children, silly spouses or people in distress. These labels are just the roles people play in order to test their birthright to be FREE. Look deeper and see what kind of movie you have chosen, what role are you playing and who your supporting actors are. You are free to change your role, re-write your script, and even change the genre. You are a Free Spirit – enjoy your creation.

If you are thinking about New Year resolution, here is a relating idea that can really improve your life.

1. Remember details of your last conversation with someone you care about, somebody who gives you the biggest headache. Find the most challenging moments you experienced with this person and identify what was so scary or painful in these moments.
2. Ask yourself: What was (and still am) I afraid of? What he (she) is afraid of?
3. Share the source of your deepest insecurity first. Allow the energy of your intimate communication and trust to dismantle any need for defense and let the walls of rejection crumble.
4. Be patient. Each one of us is a big Spirit on a mission to Be and Become. Allow some time for your partners and children to just be in their process without the need to prove or explain themselves to you. Then share your fears and ask for their support in your feeling more connected and in “the loop” with them.
5. Be the guiding light. After all is said and done, less should be said then done. Do what is right. Stay in your course. Express your truth. Role model your certainty, love and cooperation from the deep knowing of what is right for you.
You cannot know how to Be or Become anyone, but you. You cannot live anyone’s life, but your own. You cannot make or prevent anyone’s mistakes, only your own. All you have is You. Treasure yourself.

All you are is Love. You cannot make a mistake when your heart radiates love. You are asking questions, but they are not for others to answer. They are for you, to bring you back to being aware, being you, and living your life according to your truth. Being afraid is normal. Share your fears with love and acceptance and allow others to share theirs without judgment. Let go of your defenses and see their defenses go down.

Remember you are just a piece of the bigger puzzle. Where you are in the moment is perfect. You are needed there to complete the picture for everyone you meet on your path. Never settle for less then you are. Your truth and your flavor are essential for our human puzzle. Do not make changes. Be the change you want to make. Be the blessing for all who chose to come into your life. Live your wildest dream. Practice the freedom of being you. Enjoy the most amazing experiences in 2011.

My relationship movie channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/lanapritzker?feature=mhum

This month I had a pleasure of being invited to a beautiful wedding. This invitation came over just a few weeks after the one of my young clients showed up in my office with a huge uncertainty about herself, her future life and most importantly, a big confusion about her previous relationship. This is what she sent me after this session:

“A “happy bride” seems to be one of those statements that are oftentimes assumed to be true. After all, the ring is finally on the finger that was once empty and the gruesome search is over. I am very blessed, indeed, to fall into the blissfully “happy bride” category. This would not have been the case without you, my dear mentor, teacher, and friend.

You taught me to believe in myself, embrace life around me, and channel out negative energy effectively. I can picture my former self as a bride, and trust me, it’s not pretty. Your training and devotion to my progress has made me a stress free bride and allowed me to actually enjoy this absolutely fantastic process of planning my big day. My friends who always told me I’d be a bridezilla are now calling me bridezilla “wannabe” (which I take as a compliment).

But the most important thing I received from you was your gift of understanding and acceptance. I often think of you and feel your warmth and hear your words of wisdom whenever life throws me a curve, and that is the best gift of all, a timeless gift. My fiancé is eternally grateful to you, the woman who brought out aspects of my Being I never knew existed. He believes that without your guidance I just could miss out on a great love story, ours.”

This letter is not about being grateful for finally getting married. It is rather about being grateful for finding the true self and making a decision with confidence and joy of knowing you are choosing what is right for you. For me, this letter is about finding peace with your own Being and sharing your true essence with someone who can understand, appreciate and support what you respect and cherish about yourself.

Working with many couples who were planning to get married (www.themarriagepuzzle.com), married couples and those who were on the verge of separation, I had a unique opportunity to notice the common patterns that showed up again and again in every interaction I observed. These were common habits of “pleasing others” and resenting it at the same time mixed with the need “to be right” and the need to prove yourself. These behaviors were considered by at least one person in each couple to be a necessity for peaceful co-existence that naturally occurred at the beginning of the relationship. Yet as relationship progressed, the habit of not communicating transparently, keeping your truth to yourself and doing things that did not feel right in order to stay in relationship actually ruined the relationship or attracted the wrong person as a partner. This strategy did not work in a long run.

When you act out of pressure or out of the need verse acting according to your heart desires, love and understanding, you create a pile of resentment that is really hard to clean up as it keeps building a wall around your heart. Each of us is a inimitable Being who’s unique flavor really makes humanity more interesting and enlightened (in spite of what your parents told you). You are distinctively programmed to BE YOU and interact with the world in YOUR WAY. This is the biggest gift you can give to your family, your community and humanity as a whole.

As we interact with people in our environment (in order to fulfill our needs and desires), we hear some opinions and criticism that usually reflect these people’s emotional state and the state of mind. Unfortunately, we internalize some of these opinions and create habits that protect us or compensate for our feeling of being “inadequate”. When we unconsciously act from this internalized feeling, we often enter into unpleasant situations that reflect our fears and create unproductive relationships. Building relationships that thrive starts with consciously understanding and accepting your true nature and living accordingly. When your relationship with yourself is changed to loving and accepting, it begins to show up externally: you visit the right places at the right time and co-create synchronistic events with the right people who you attract easily.

Honoring yourself for your individuality is the most important and challenging task for most of us. If you would like to check in with yourself and see how your inner relationship affects your external life, I invite you to spend a few minutes contemplating the questions below. As you are reading these questions, please mark “yes” or “no” for each one of them to help you become more conscious about things you may unconsciously hide or compromise about.

Do you try to convince everyone that they are wrong?

Are you driven by the need to be right?

Are you staying involved in and holding onto relationships, jobs and places that are not good for you?

Are you manufacturing interpretations to avoid telling or facing the truth?

Are you avoiding confrontation or rocking the boat with another person?

Are you experiencing pressure to be able to answer everyone else’s questions?

Are you acting in a hurry and thinking that you can free yourself of the pressure by getting things done faster?

Are you depleting your energy by not knowing when “enough is enough”?

Do you feel enslaved and victimized?

Do you feel a need to prove yourself to others?

Do you have a tendency devalue yourself or your services?

Are you being disappointed by your love life or preoccupied with finding love?

Are you feeling doubtful and indecisive about your direction in life?

Are you trying to attract attention?

Are you anxious about the manifestation of your desires?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, checking in with your most important values and seeing if your values are supported within your relationships will give you some deep insights about why you do what you do and feel what you feel. Just write down your 5-7 major values and check every relationship you feel off about against this list. Simple awareness and understanding how the need “to please others” or “prove yourself” influences your decisions and how this affects your life can help you eliminate resistance, minimize painful experiences and assists you in making decisions without relying on outside authorities. It can help you value yourself, be available to yourself and be able to do the best for others without damaging yourself and disregarding who you are and what you value.

I invite you to become aware of your unique place in the human puzzle and see that it is perfect for you and people you attract in your life. It is time to call your power back from every compromise and every resentment pile you’ve created. I invite you to take back your attention from everyone you are wanting to fix and everyone who is trying to fix you and put your attention on yourself. I invite you to open your heart to yourself and give the love that you are so eager to share, to yourself.

This holiday season give yourself a gift you want to send to others, allow yourself to receive all the love and attention you are so willingly send away and add the joy you are creating for others to every aspect of your own life Allow yourself to speak up, to wear what you want, to do what you care about and to be true to yourself while being truthful with others. This is the biggest gift you can share – the gift of HAPPY, HEALTHY, TRUTHFUL and TRANSPARENT YOU!

My relationship movie channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/lanapritzker?feature=mhum

Just recently I’ve conducted a workshop during which we have been exploring aspects of personal alchemy. We’ve experimented with ways to transform the led within our life into the gold of loving relationships, connection to our inherent nature and expansion of consciousness. Today I would like to share my findings about the mystery of personal Alchemy and how to apply your innate abilities to transform the energy of struggle and frustration into the energy of pleasure and intimate relating in your life.

I absolutely love the slogan on Jim Self’s website: “Alchemy is the ability to transform one possibility into another.” Fortunately, we all are true alchemists whether we consciously know about it or not. Moving through the day, taking care of yourself or your family members, having a relationship… All these tasks require a high level of alchemical mastery. Without consciously thinking about your alchemical qualities you are constantly transforming one possibility into another.

Just remember:

How many times you transformed a conflict into a peaceful resolution?

How many times you uplifted someone from being in despair into the state of hope?

How many times you transmuted suffering by shifting your relationship onto neutrality or pleasure?

Often my clients say that they experience non-appreciation, non-recognition, and dis-honoring of their spirit by others. Let’s be honest with ourselves and acknowledge that there is something that makes you feel the worst. Let’s explore how you can become effective and masterful in the areas that still create disharmony in your life.

Do you experience any luck of appreciation in your life and within your relationships?

Are you appreciating, recognizing, and honoring your spirit?

Are you modeling this appreciation to others?

How many times your conversation with family members end up with accusations and criticism instead of appreciation, recognition, and honoring? If you live with someone who is not worth your appreciation, recognition, and honoring, you may want to ask yourself: why am I still together with this person?

Sometimes we just forget how to share our appreciation, recognition, and honoring with each other. If you are missing such soul connection, I recommend you to have an appreciation talk using simple ideas below:

1. Create a list of qualities that you appreciate in yourself. Read it out loud and with passion to yourself. Sense how each quality feels in your body and notice how your spirit is smiling within.

2. Ask your spouse, partner/child to create a list of qualities they appreciate in themselves. Ask them to create as big of a list as they can.

3. After a good meal (not instead of before it!) have a conversation about your mutual qualities. Simply ask your partner to listen to you sharing what you appreciate in yourself . Ask him or her to simply listen without commenting on it as it will allow them to get to know you from a new perspective. Notice how you feel during and after this conversation.

4. Do the same for your partner (even if it is your child). Notice how their face changes as they share their view of themselves. See their Presence coming alive in front of your eyes.

If you feel you’d rather talk to someone more neutral then your spouse, ask a friend to share your mutual appreciation. Even though this seems to be a simple exercise, having this conversation will create a profound awareness in how you feel about yourself and each other. You will experience an amazing feeling of being seen by yourself and people you are close with. This validation will create an energetic wave within your personal Universe affecting every relationship you create.

The Law of Attraction acts through you all the time. You are an attraction point for every experience, every relationship in your life. From the Soul perspective, you are never wrong in your decisions or actions. Every event or relation you are experiencing fits perfectly within your personal Earth Drama script. The more frustrating and painful your relationships are, the more awaken and sensitive you become. This helps you recognize when and why your Spirit is gone and raises your awareness about how to make your Spirit dwell in your body. You begin noticing when you feel suffocated and when you feel exhilarated. You start looking for uplifting, loving, supporting experiences and you start asking soul level questions:

What am I about?

Where is my place in the human evolution?

What can I do to help higher consciousness descend fully into my physical form?

There are 6 major patterns of suffering that are present, at least to some extend, in every relationship:

1. Repression
2. Denial
3. Shame
4. Rejection
5. Guilt
6. Separation

These archetypal behaviors create lower vibrational states of fear, anger, resentment and suffering that are based on dishonoring your feelings and suppressing your truth in order to be loved. When we repress our feelings, deny our needs, or become ashamed of ourselves (and people that we love), we lose part of our spirit in a process. When we reject someone, feel guilty of something, experience ourselves as separate/abandoned, we enter (and often get stuck) in emotional states that are way below our natural enthusiasm and interest in life. This creates energetic stagnation of unsatisfied desires and patterns of mental, emotional, and physical suffering.

Do you want to transform the pain of the unconscious nightmare into pleasure of fully awaken consciousness?

Awakening begins with answering your own healing questions:

How can I stop repressing my heart feelings?

What would make me trust that my Soul journey is directed by Divine Will and the challenges I am experiencing are never bigger than what I can overcome and learn from? How can I hear Divine Will that is talking to me through my family members. What can help me remember that I am old enough now and it is safe to take a breath of life and take charge of my life.

How can I stop my own denial? How can I start listening to what my body is telling me and act on my intuition? How can I access my higher mind and act from the wisdom of knowing verse the need to fit with the crowd (or even one person’s opinion about me) ?

What am I ashamed of? Are these my own feelings and words or am I just repeating what I’ve heard from others who were manipulating my behaviors by shaming me in the past? What are the words I WANT to use to describe me and honor and appreciate myself with? If I am looking for true love, can I experience an unconditional love toward myself and model it for others?

How can I stop rejecting others in fear that they may reject me? Do I notice when I become judgmental toward myself or others? Can I look for an underlying feeling, an insight into the truth of each individual I meet? Can I see that everyone I am attracting into my life has a piece of the puzzle that helps me learn something new about me? How would our relationship look like if I already graduated from this life class and acted from the epiphany that was hiding inside each of my interactions.

How can I stop feeling guilty? How can I find my own vibrational tone and stay in my emotional vibration even if someone I love is scared, angry or resentful about my thoughts and actions. How can I understand another person’s pain without getting sucked into it? How can I forgive myself for holding a higher vibration and being at least neutral while others are falling apart? How can I understand that I am just feeling low in a moment and forgive myself for taking some time out from the drama for recuperation. How can I forgive others for being who they are and letting them be. How can I understand that everyone’s journey is their own business and let them manage it on their own? How can I stop fixing myself, the world and individual people in order to feel better?

How can I stop a habit of separation? How can I allow myself to see, speak and be my truth? How can I notice that each person has his or her own piece of the Truth and only collectively we hold a bigger picture? How can I be honest, transparent and intimate with myself and others in a way that creates an environment of truthful open communication and unrestricted energy flow? How can I be an ambassador of higher truth we call Oneness? What would it take for me to commit to being true to myself in every relationship I create?

Learning to notice what vibration you are in by becoming aware of this low vibrational patterns matrix (Repression, Denial, Shame, Rejection, Guilt, and Separation) is a major step in seeing what kind of space you are creating for yourself and others. They will also help you train yourself to set a higher vibrational environment for your personal and collective growth. Being aware of what triggers you into these six vibrations gives you a deeper understanding of your Soul Journey and the role of the players you invite to share your experience. You start seeing your relationships from your HIGHER Self perspective, having a totally different experience.

In biology, the evolution is viewed as a process by which all species develop from earlier forms of life. According to this theory, natural variations in the genetic material create new and different organisms that develop as a result of such changes. Traditionally, evolution is seen as the path of advancement of the matter. At the same time, if you deeply look into our current genetic variations reflected by “indigo” adults, “rainbow”, “crystal” and transitional new children, you will notice that we are experiencing an evolution of consciousness that drives our body (our current matter) into higher vibration. All these magical telepathic skills, entrepreneurial traits and ability to receive and process different types of sensory data by children labeled with ADD/ADHD/Autistic tendencies, can also be seen as the signs of higher consciousness evolving our physical matter in order for us to safely go through the Shift and be able to successfully bridge the Heaven and Earth.

If you see the changes within current physicality of the human species as a reflection of the process that allows our higher aspects to fully descend and stay present during this life time on Earth, you will understand how matter just follows the consciousness that needs the body for new experiences and further evolution. You will also see every experience, every relationship that results in a physical pain or transformation as a process chosen by your evolving consciousness. Your Soul is working hard to create a vibrational shift within your body from being powerless or victimized by the circumstances of life into fully grown powerful Spiritual Being playing a Human Role for its own advancement.

If you want to see your personal role in the Shift, look at one of your hardest experiences.

I invite you to and write a little letter to your consciousness:

1. Look at the most challenging lesson of your life and describe it shortly.

2. Read it and start looking for the powers it gave you, the gifts that came into your life because of this experience. Write how it changed your way of forming and sustaining relationships with others.

3. Look at the part that helps you see how this experience impacted your life. Did it take away your power or did it give you more understanding and commanding force to be a cause in your life ? It will help you become aware of your position on your consciousness map. Notice: Are you being stuck in this experience of the past or it illuminated your consciousness and gave you a new observational platform for making future decisions and acting on them?

5. Find some new aspects within your current life reflecting how your consciousness grew from this past experience. Look for some new ways of appreciating what happened for its impact on your life. Use this letter to express a gratitude to your Soul and wonderment about your magical Self for growing and changing so rapidly.

Your consciousness is not separate from Oneness we are all part of. Every time you see the truth behind the story created by your experience, you recover a piece of your Soul left behind. The more whole and complete you become, the more of your grown up consciousness is reflected within your relationship with yourself. This new vibration starts affecting different layers of your creation, including your relationships with others. Your heart, connected to your higher mind, fills with recognition, appreciation and honoring yourself. It makes your personal physical container stronger and a sweet spot of your magical self within it even bigger. This alchemical shift allows you to drop a pebble of your life purpose in the ocean of love that you are, creating a scalar wave that amplifies your impact within your family, community, country, global consciousness and Cosmic collective, transforming pain and suffering into happiness and delight.

Being a little child is easy… You want something and you scream… Immediately everyone pays attention and you get what you want (just because your expression is loud, annoying and invokes pity and worry). Or you smile. You open those big magical child’s eyes and they melt anyone around you. And you get what you want.

Being a little child is simple… When you do not want something, you scream… Immediately everyone pays attention (just because you are loud, irritating and persistent) and they let you be. Or you run away and hide behind the chair and they forget about you.  Or you change the rules of your game if it does not work for you. You make new friends every day. You break up with old ones every day. You love them, you hate them, you forget about them at the end of the preschool day and you are free to make new choices tomorrow.

Being an adult is not that straightforward. You have to fit, you have to perform. You have to know what is right. And you cannot change the rules or use your childhood tools as often as before. You cannot scream, cry, or run all the time. You’d be called irresponsible. You’d be accused of being childish. You have to “be accountable and dependable” for others .So when you feel like a lost child, you hide the truth and you go about your business of being an adult. But the truth of being lost never dies. It settles in and it waits for you to grow up enough so you can look yourself in a eye and be 100% honest about it.

The energy permeating the Earth these days is incredible. We are in a huge cleansing wave that washes away all that is unsustainable in our life structures. Whatever you were hiding inside that had no energy to survive the Shift is showing up and your outside structures that held it in hiding are falling apart. Every hidden dissatisfaction, every repressed desire, every unsatisfied need is being brought to the surface and illuminated by the light of your Soul.

The vibrational quality of this wave is what we call Unconditional Love. The love I am talking about is not an emotional label or a human expression of longing. It is not an action of caring, nurturing or needing to be taken care of. It is not a mental understanding and forgiveness based on previous agreements and contracts with others or yourself. I am talking about pure vibration, electricity, magnetism, gravity… a pure force that could be measured as a wave form. This energy is huge. It is a vitality of a spring flower rushing through the dirt. It is a force of Mother Nature destroying an old forest by fire. It is the Cosmic Mother washing her sloppy kids after millennia of playing in a mud.

This powerful energy awakens those who are unaware of being unaware and makes them wonder. It awakens those who are attentive of what is happening around them and make them active participants in the Shift. It awakens those who are conscious of their role and path and make them practical leaders, teachers, role models. But most importantly, it awakens everyone to every aspect of life they identify with and make us question if this is what is ours.

This vibration of Love acts like Crazy Glue that binds people together. All of a sudden you find yourself falling in love. This loving tenderness moves through your body looking for something similar from the past that it could identify with. The closest experience of what is happening now is similar to being in love with your first grade teacher, wanting to marry your mom, or share your most riches with your friend form the third grade.

This energy of unconditional love and non-judgmental connection cannot be explained on a human level because we do not have any words for it. There is nothing you can label it with. It feels new, re-freshing, and innovative. It feels like you are 15 again and you can change the rules, rebel, experiment and explore the only way we know how – through falling in love and becoming lovers. All we know about love between adults is a sexual expression and that is what may be happening in your life right now. You experience a deep longing and a need to be engaged with your sexual energy.

Because this experience of love vibration is very different and so much bigger then anything you’ve ever experienced before, it cannot be fully experienced within the paradigm of our traditional relationship structures based on obligations, old contracts and guilt. These routines are unsustainable because they are just coping mechanisms that allowed us to survive, but they did not feed our body, mind and spirit. As a powerful vibration of current energy moves through us, it creates an evolutionary impulse that cannot be stopped unless we restrain ourselves through traditional ways of holding our true nature tamed.

These coping strategies create a web of self-destruction by weakening our physical body through repression and denial, deteriorating our emotional system through shame and rejection, and devastating our relationships with patterns of guilt and separation.

Each of these strategies has a potential to mature when we are willing to look into and take responsibility for resolving our deep seeded longing for Love, unconditional acceptance and pure unselfish connection with our wild divine nature.

How to start your growing process?

We start by recognizing every unsatisfied emotional, physical and mental need that we repressed. Being transparent about your deeply hidden sadness, disappointment, and lost hopes, you move into clearly seeing your habits of self-denial. What are the true reasons for your hidden sadness, disappointment, and lost hopes? You stop blaming others for what you are experiencing, you take your attention off how THEY did not give you what you want and you make yourself available to yourself. This is an amazing opportunity to play a new game where you change your character into being resourceful, wise, and powerful force in your own life.

It is time to become 100% honest about your ability to stand on your own feet without leaning on anyone else. This will help you rapidly grow into your current age by letting go an idea that someone is, can or has to be your surrogate parent if you claim to be an adult.

You then look into what you repressed and denied yourself of and notice if you carry any shame around it (feeling something wrong with you, not being good enough, not fitting in). Shame is one of the first emotional patterns we experience as little kids. Our parents are rarely 100% aware that their parenting strategies that are repeatedly based on manipulating our behaviors by shaming. We feel unloved and rejected and we learn to criticize and shame ourselves and reject others before they reject us.

The truth of the matter is that you’ve never made a mistake in walking your evolutionary path. These unresolved issues and unfulfilled desires are there to move you, shake your world, give you an experience of contrast, and make you feel alive. The more you hide form yourself and your truth, the less alive you feel. Eventually your survival instinct kicks in to save the day. You explode, you allow, you experience what you were longing for and for a moment you feel one with your Soul.

You never fall in love with a person outside of yourself. When you like yourself when you are relating to something or someone outside of yourself, you simply fall in love with what resonates within. This recognition makes you breathe, smile and relax into being you. You fall in love with being free of repression, denial, shame, and rejection. And then you feel guilty… You feel like you betrayed someone that leans on you… Or someone you lean on. You feel you’ve separated from Divinity when, in fact, you just found your lost Divinity.

Journey into your untamed godly nature is an amazing journey. It is a passage of self permission, self sustainability and self admiration. It is a pathway into your Soul through allowing yourself to be 100% honest about your nature … first with yourself and then with those that are close to you. It is a journey of intimate connection with your body that leads to recognition and allowing of the human needs to be fulfilled while your energy is being focused on your Soul Journey.  It is an exploration through which you are finding your self-worth, let go of greed and learn to stay present to vibrations of love in every single moment.

How do you stay present?

There are many moments in our life that are passing by unnoticed. Focusing on how much pleasure you can experience in every breath, activity, conversation, touch, smell, and connection without the fear of how and what may or may not happen later is the key. It is about understanding and forgiving yourself for being human while understanding and forgiving others for playing along and being supportive actors in your human drama. It is about showing up in your life 100% and making decisions based on what supports you in your journey.

It is about finding ways to powerfully move your energy independently from what others may or may not offer in a moment through movement, breath, energy and body work. It is also about asking for what you want clearly and openly and allowing the energy of your desire to move freely through your material plane. Life never gives you something that you cannot handle. It only opens it treasure chest when you are big enough to invest your energetic currency into your universal Love bank. So, be curious, open and grateful for what is showing up in your life as a response and be adult enough to recognize the changes that are magical manifestations of desire to grow up happy.

Being honest and transparent with yourself… look into what is missing in your relationship, so you know exactly what you are looking for outside of it. Then, being completely clear and courageous, make a commitment to shift your relationship be a perfect match to your desire (in my coaching practice I work with couples to make it happen) or honestly accept your resignation if it is not possible. This will help you make decisions that support a new stage in your relationship while supporting your own growth.

Love is Love. Sex is just a part of what we, humans, call Love. An important part though. Our life force energy is generated and sustained via fully expressed sexuality, yet this is just one way of self-expression. When creative life force energy is not appreciated, recognized, acknowledged, and supported within relationship, sex seems to be the only way to get this energy moving. On the other hand, when someone really understands your creative genius and supports your creative growth, you fall in love with them and you find the way to express it.

We create Love in many different ways… Sex is only one of them. Love is what we are looking for, the feeling of being at Home. We want feel love, to feel loved. This is the energy that creates kids, writes songs, builds cities and dances tango. We are made in the God’s image and can it is our birthright to play with creative energy of Love, including human expressions and interpretations of it, making our drama on Earth worth our while.