I know you are a great teacher. You are a guiding light. You are an amazing coach and an authority on your topic. Yet… Do you ever feel like you have no way of reaching your own daughter or your spouse? If you feel lost even though you think you are the compass, I want to share a few stories with you.
Here is a story of a young man who tries his best to be a good husband for his ex-wife, current wife and the kids from both marriages. He gives them all they want. Working long hours, he supports their ideas and needs, yet BOTH wives decide to leave him. The last conflict makes no sense to him. She is so obsessed with the idea that she decides to vacate his home in the middle of the winter with his little daughter that he treasures and loves.
Here is a story of a devoted wife who cooks, and cleans, and takes care of the house in addition to working full time as a doctor. She takes great care of the kids and makes sure her husband’s needs are met and exceeded only to find out that her efforts are not noticed, appreciated or even needed. He is an interesting conversational partner, a happy fellow, and an entertainer by nature. Unfortunately, the only time he is not enthusiastic or attentive is when he is around her.
And here is another story. She is the mom. Her daughter hated the idea of college, yet mom dragged her through 5 years of higher education. The daughter could never be consistent with her efforts, yet mom invested a huge amount of money into buying a business the daughter dreamt about. The daughter lost her interest in a process after a year or so and stepped out of the business and lost all that she had. Mom gave her all her time and support as the daughter experienced life through sharing her time, money and energy with addicts and drunks. Gradually, the daughter spiraled down, going through a few abusive co-dependent relationships resulting in huge personal and financial losses. Loving her unconditionally, mom continuously supports her adult daughter, who is still in denial and often chooses to hide the truth of her un-sustainable self-destructing tendencies.
These people are real. They show up in my practice with no survival strategy, no hope for progress, no way to restore their integrity, often wondering:
How could it happen?
Did I lose my perspective?
Am I irresponsible mother (spouse)?
Am I to take control and stop my financial support? Will that keep her isolated from all the “bad” influences in the world?
Am I to let her probe the density of world’s drama and be an observer of it?
Should I allow her (him) to be free and explore the life lessons as she (he) chooses?
Should I be a controlling force in her (his) life and how can I be that without creating even bigger conflict?
If you are asking these questions as well, you are not alone. There are many people today who are awaken by the waves of the upcoming Shift in consciousness, pondering these same questions. These people are in the process of deep re-structuring of their life and their relationships to reflect their need for intimacy, respect and trust.
The Shift, as I know it, is leading us into a deeper perceptive about personal responsibility, personal space, and freedom of choice that are integral part of the new level of current awakening. We are learning about our personal need for freedom of Being and discovering that it includes the process of letting others BE no matter where we want them to go.
Each relationship in our life is a litmus paper of our inner freedom. It is a mirror of our ability to live on purpose, allowing our Spirit to be fully present in every interaction we experience with our spouses, partners or children. We can be the brightest Lightworkers with the most enlightening messages for others while being limited by our 3D environments and interactions. Our physical reality will always limit our ability to hold 5D awareness and unlimited perspective of our divine nature unless we learn to live in both worlds at the same time
How do we stay limitless, free and open even in the moments of deepest discord in out personal lives?
How do we apply the brightness of our creative light to our darkest moments?
How can we stay loving and unconditionally inspired by the Essence of who we are while commanding our life from certainty and wisdom?
Our physical bodies are the vehicles of our consciousness. As we grow and develop, our bodies are being exposed to many experiences that help us learn how to navigate the physical world. As we move forward, we collect and store the information that allows us create some simple rules that are important to our survival. Most of these rules are learned through incidents of fear and moments of non-survival. Based on these early endurance lessons, we develop defense mechanisms that allow us to plot a course through or completely avoid fearful and painful experiences in the future.
This information creates our body treasure map. The body continuously communicates this acquired wisdom through emotional overwhelm, mental knowing and physical sensations. Every time you feel unsafe and insecure, the old memory inside is triggered to protect you. The body’s defense mechanism then reaches for pain stored within one of the events and sends the full blown sensation into your awareness. You feel awful and automatically stop what you are doing (like making the same mistake again). The side effect of such defense strategy is an uncomfortable or even painful sensation you experience every time your body tries to get your attention in attempt to address the current safety matter.
Being unconscious and unaware of the real purpose of such communication, you may respond with the fear that it may happen again and again. This fear becomes a pre-course to any inner communication that follows after the first painful event.
How can you hold your ground without losing your Essence?
How can you stay true to the high vibration of Unconditional Love at your core?
What helps you be aware of the old pain coming to the surface and how can you consciously disconnect from the future related fear (either yours or someone else’s) that you may be experiencing in the current moment.
Asking these questions helps you become more aware of your so-creative role. Seeing what is happening from this awareness level helps you experience any distress without being scared of it. It helps you recognize that fear can only rule you (or your opponent) in the moment if you are not aware of it. You need to see, acknowledge and address of the fear feeling before you continue your interaction. Understanding WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF is the first step in this process. Admitting and transparently sharing this truth with your partner is the key step in opening the doors of mutual acceptance and cooperation.
Sharing your own fear and uncertainty creates a level of honesty, transparency and intimate communication that is impossible when one of the communicating partners holds the status of superiority. There is a difference between being certain, clear, and powerful verse being forceful, superior and controlling. Certainty and clarity creates a sacred space of mutual respect and open communication while dominance and demand creates resistance and rejection.
You cannot be overpowered, trapped or limited. You are surrounded by big powerful spirits who may look like small children, silly spouses or people in distress. These labels are just the roles people play in order to test their birthright to be FREE. Look deeper and see what kind of movie you have chosen, what role are you playing and who your supporting actors are. You are free to change your role, re-write your script, and even change the genre. You are a Free Spirit – enjoy your creation.
If you are thinking about New Year resolution, here is a relating idea that can really improve your life.
1. Remember details of your last conversation with someone you care about, somebody who gives you the biggest headache. Find the most challenging moments you experienced with this person and identify what was so scary or painful in these moments.
2. Ask yourself: What was (and still am) I afraid of? What he (she) is afraid of?
3. Share the source of your deepest insecurity first. Allow the energy of your intimate communication and trust to dismantle any need for defense and let the walls of rejection crumble.
4. Be patient. Each one of us is a big Spirit on a mission to Be and Become. Allow some time for your partners and children to just be in their process without the need to prove or explain themselves to you. Then share your fears and ask for their support in your feeling more connected and in “the loop” with them.
5. Be the guiding light. After all is said and done, less should be said then done. Do what is right. Stay in your course. Express your truth. Role model your certainty, love and cooperation from the deep knowing of what is right for you.
You cannot know how to Be or Become anyone, but you. You cannot live anyone’s life, but your own. You cannot make or prevent anyone’s mistakes, only your own. All you have is You. Treasure yourself.
All you are is Love. You cannot make a mistake when your heart radiates love. You are asking questions, but they are not for others to answer. They are for you, to bring you back to being aware, being you, and living your life according to your truth. Being afraid is normal. Share your fears with love and acceptance and allow others to share theirs without judgment. Let go of your defenses and see their defenses go down.
Remember you are just a piece of the bigger puzzle. Where you are in the moment is perfect. You are needed there to complete the picture for everyone you meet on your path. Never settle for less then you are. Your truth and your flavor are essential for our human puzzle. Do not make changes. Be the change you want to make. Be the blessing for all who chose to come into your life. Live your wildest dream. Practice the freedom of being you. Enjoy the most amazing experiences in 2011.